dont you hate when you make a picture- whether it be drawn, painted, or digital- and evryone thinks its great, but you can see that enormous flaw that makes it horrid? I painted an eye, from a photo, and its my first attempt at painting realistically. there was some cool shading in it, but i messed up one big section, and thats all i can see when i look at it. but hey, other ppl say they like it. so i should just shuttup.

unfortunately, it looks like i am going to have to get rid of my beloved cat. the place i am staying at the moment is pet-free, and my fantastic flatmate is very very allergic (seriously, she had a horrible skin reaction and almost stopped breathing when i wore my dressing gown that had cat hair on it, poor thing)so my lil lucy is currently being looked after in a cat kennels for 11 dollars a day. thats 77 dollars a week, which is enough to rent a room for a person, for gods sake! i miss my lil kitty so much, and i have been trying to organise a place to live where i can have her there. there is an empty spot in my bed where she is supposed to be snuggling. there is no lil white furball to welcome me home in the evening. i dont have to bail anyone out of trees after they realise they cant climb back down with only 3 legs. basicly, she became my best friend, and i love her. unfortunately i think i have been a little selfish in my treatment of her. i cant stand the idea of not having her. but the kennels is not the best place for her, i mean she has shelter, food and water, but no one to cuddle her and she lives in a box about a metre cubed. i have finally sorted out my living situation. becasue i have the baby on the way i have been madly trying to find somewhere for myself and my baby to live where we will be safe and cared for. so i will be staying with my mum for the first two or three months after Toby is born, then i will move to dad's house which is closer to town.
at both these places i cant bring Lucy with me, they both already have cats and dad hates the one they have, lol. they are kinda waiting for that cat to "go" so they can get a puppy for my lil bro. mum's cats just stopped peeing on everything in sight, and a new cat will upset him again.
Both my parents have recommended calling a woman at the pound called marg, or maggie or something. mum says cats with three legs are actually more likely to be adopted.
i just hate the thought of my litlle girl being someones pet! she is family to me, and i have given her everything i could. i have paid so much money for her leg opperation, even when the person that broke her leg in the first place reckoned i should have her put down. i've made sure she was chipped and vaccinated and desexed. i've climbed trees whilst 6 months pregnant when she got herself stuck. i know the face she makes when the right side of her neck is itchy and she has no leg to scratch it. i know when she has the shits and doesnt want cuddles. i taught her to play kitty-soccer (or maybe she taught me!) i leave my shoes out so she can throw her toys in them and spend hours getting them out again. i named her after a character in elfen lied, who after a blow to the head, has two personalities. one personality is a psychotic trained killer and the other is this adorable, cuddly, happy person who delights in tiny things like a red umbrella and light sparkling on water. lucy caught butterflies and then ate them on my lap. she chased a cricket all around the house and then fell down the stairs after it. she is the clumsiest cat i know. sigh. she deserves to be taken out of limbo and given a nice home with people who can love her.

on a happy note, my baby is super healthy. i've booked into prenatal classes, and met some of the midwives up at the bathurst hospital. they're all lovely and entirely sensible (which is really what you want) and very caring. they gave me heaps of info on what services are available in this town for women and for families.
I'm 27 weeks now, so in my last trimester next week! toby's kickin around like nothing else, i am so round, lol. i am delighting in having this bond with a little entity who knows nothing but me yet. i read to him, and i have played music to him. he reactes to loud noises and sometimes to my emotions. he never stops kicking, but it isnt uncomfortable enough to keep me awake. it is not uncommon to walk into a room and find me staring at my bare tummy, while it jiggles away.

wel, thats me for now! now to call the cat person...